The damage of forced positivity.

The fine line between being positive and invalidating your feelings altogether..💌

No one likes the discomfort of sadness, the reality of pain, or the discouraging thoughts. We like to conceal our true feelings because we don’t want it to be true. It can’t be true and everything is alright.. right??

We pretend that we have it all figured out because it’s easier than admitting that you’re lost. We pretend because that’s what we’re taught to feel on social media. Everyone knows what they’re doing and there’s no room for dealing with confusion or fear. Every media, every capitalist idea, every entity wants you to be optimistic because they’re expecting something out of you. It all convinces you that you have to be optimistic and you have to be productive.

TikTok is filled with people showing you how productive and healthy their days are, which is really inspiring but at the same time, i want to see your vulnerable days, the days where you felt like you didn’t want to get out of bed. I want to feel seen and i want people to tell me that it’s okay.. Society doesn’t allow acknowledgment, it only allows productivity. No one understands you, so you feel the need to make them feel that you’re fine anyways.

• Here’s why forced positivity can be harmful sometimes.

Maintaining a positive mindset is important, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your real emotions. Invalidating the way you feel can only cause so much harm. When people say “just try to be positive” , it can be helpful, yes, to try to be positive but it’s not what you’re feeling. You’re not feeling positive, you’re feeling lost and that is real. Your emotional state is real and what you’re feeling is just how it is, not a choice. Humans don’t have a switch for optimism and pessimism. What we have are real experiences with valid reactions.

Forcing yourself to be positive can sometimes border on shaming yourself for feeling any negative emotions. If you’re experiencing feelings of anxiety, depression, or sadness and someone tells you to just be happy or positive about things, you would feel like you’re failing and that you’re doing something wrong, when in reality there’s nothing wrong with feeling the way you feel.

Repressing your emotions with toxic feelings with positivity doesn’t make them disappear, they cultivate more and more as they’re buried deep within you. You fool your mind with false positivity, while your heart and soul remain in this poison, un dealt with. What’s repressed will never disappear on its own, it comes back always.

Most people don’t like uncomfortable situations so they just imitate these positive thoughts. They don’t like to think about important issues or injustices going on in the world so they just block these feelings and try to think of something positive. They don’t understand that not everyone has the control to block certain situations and think positive thoughts because all they’re subjected to now is negativity and they can’t just switch their thoughts into something positive.

•What you should do instead ☘️

Whatever you’re going through right now, there has to be room for hope and sadness. There has to be room for regret and forgiveness. You have to be able to make peace with how you’re feeling. Having a positive mental health doesn’t necessarily mean being happy all the time. it just means that you have the right mindset, the right emotional flexibility. You should be able tp grieve, feel down, be sad without feelings of guilt, without burying your feelings. Judging the way you feel isn’t going to help. You have to let yourself feel and experience every emotion without forcing yourself to be okay all the time. Empathy towards yourself is more important than forced reassurances. Let yourself feel everything, it might be uncomfortable but stuffing your feelings down doesn’t hurt less than a knife gnawing at you.

Don’t avoid your emotions, be realistic instead and be compassionate towards yourself..💌

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Written with love,

Angie🕯️